going to school

in my latest dream, i dreamed that i was going back to school at montevallo. i was moving into the dorms and i was moving back in with jenny. we had a two bedroom apartment and i gave her the larger bedroom unlike when we were at school at una. i had a boyfriend and a job. i was at my job all day and my boyfriend was drunk waiting on me when i got home from work. jenny wasn't happy about it at all. she didn't like him. he was some frat dude named jason or something of that nature. he kept asking me to make movies and was really annoying, but we seemed to be in love so apparently i looked past this fault. jenny and i seemed to be getting along a lot better than the last time we lived together and in the dream i felt as though i was in the mood of bending to do whatever it is that it took to not upset her. those are the major points of the dream. there are a lot of minor details that would take the whole day to write. suffice it say, my mom was there controlling the situation again and i was concerned about her watching me the entire time. i can never seem to get out from under her watch. i'll be the happiest person alive one day when when i do i suppose.

so here it is...

i've decided to start keeping a dream journal. hopefully, one day i can look back and read these and make sense of them. even since childhood, i've always had vivid dreams and it has never occurred to me to write these down. dreams do have meaning, you know? so here's the start of my dream journal and welcome to the warped world of my sleeping life.

here goes nothing:

sunday, april 24, 2011

this dream is pretty simple. i was riding in the car with my aunt dawnie and we were talking about nothing in particular. she wasn't paying attention to where she was going and drove into oncoming traffic. we hit a log truck head on. i remember crossing my arms in front of my face (who knows what protection that would even offer in real life.). after the fact, i know i was alive and in pain and laying on the ground. i could hear the police, firefighters, and paramedics. i knew i was dying and that i would die very soon if i weren't given any help. i screamed for the medics to help me and they came to me and said they couldn't because my mother had called and told them not to help me because i'm a drug addict and i'm only drug seeking. they wouldn't touch me, although i lay there mortally wounding, the life just draining from me, they wouldn't touch me because my mother had called and said not to help me. that's all i really remember and then she woke up...